Nellie M. Costa, 51, of Dartmouth, fiancé of Bob Tavares, died unexpectedly Friday afternoon, April 6, 2018, at Charlton Memorial Hospital, after a short illness. Born in Remedios on the isle of Sao Miguel Azores, a daughter of Natalia (Moreira) Costa of Fall River, and the late Manuel Costa, she emigrated to Fall River in June of 1973.

Besides her fiancé, and mother, she is survived by four children, Kyle R. Oliveira of Fall River, Morgan E. Oliveira of Dartmouth, Shawn Oliveira of Rehoboth, and Mark Oliveira Jr. of North Carolina; four siblings, Antonio Costa (wife Maria) of Fall River, Jose Costa (wife Melissa) of Portsmouth, Merciana Costa & Nancy Costa both of Fall River; several nieces & nephews. She was also a sister of the late Margaret Costa.

Nellie obtained an Associate's degree in Registered Health Information Technology, and worked at SouthCoast Health for 29 years as a Coding Educator. She was a tenacious researcher who could find answers to the most difficult of medical related questions in her field. Nellie enjoyed spending time with her family and friends, and she loved her dogs. In addition to being an avid reader, her hobbies included knitting and gardening.

Her Funeral Mass was celebrated on Friday, April 13th, in Espirito Santo Church followed by her committal at Notre Dame Cemetery. In lieu of flowers, kindly consider making a donation to Nellie's daughter, Morgan, to further her college education.



Eulogy (given by a good friend):

When you spend a lot of time with someone you are afforded the opportunity to learn about them and the many facets of their life. I, like many of you, was lucky enough to do that with Nellie. And from our time together there are some things that I know for sure. Family was everything to her. One night checking in with each other in our group text she responded, "My family is here and they are craaaaazy." and anyone who has ever experienced a Costa family get together knows what I mean. Crazy fun, crazy laughter and most importantly crazy love. She loved having everyone together at her house: her brothers, her sisters, her mother, nieces, nephews, cousins. The Costa's are an "I have your back" family, "through thick and thin" family, and "we stick together" family. She appreciated how hard her parents worked to give them the best life possible. She loved her Mom's cooking. She cherished the girls' weekends and sisterly outings and birthday celebrations. I'll never forget getting the surprise text message of all their matching sister tattoos. She called Nancy her baby and said that Nancy, Mercy and Margaret were like other mothers to Morgan and Kyle. I don't know how many times I heard her say "Thank God for my brothers" and "I don't know what I would do without them." And whenever discussing matters of importance she would always end with "I'm going to ask my brother Joe." Because she valued his advice above all. And then there is Bob. "He is the most intelligent person I know" she would say, "The man reads more than anyone I have ever seen", "He's so creative and talented", "When he puts his mind to something that man does it". All true. She also loved the fact that he was so close to Margaret, Mercy and Nancy. She would jokingly say "I think he spends more time with them than he does with me." If any of us ever had anything that needed fixing Nellie would say "Bob could fix that, he can fix anything." But most important to her was that he has a good heart and does right by people. Family was her number one. I know this for sure.

Anyone who knew Nellie knew she didn't have a green thumb, she had green fingers. The woman never met a plant she didn't love. She couldn't pass by one without examining it, picking off a few brown leaves or letting you know you weren't doing a very good job caring for it. She loved digging in the dirt. It was like therapy for her. Last spring and summer we gardened a lot together, and we talked about our children. I got to learn more about Sean and Mark and how she considered them her own. She talked about how smart, strong, and independent Morgan was. "That kid can do anything," she would say. She talked about how she would get grey hairs over again from Kyle because all the tough stuff was worth it. Who he is now as a young man is all she ever hoped for: a good person. She said she raised her kids, like us all, the best she knew how and all she wanted was to raise them to be good people. Kind, caring, and considerate. She felt that mission was accomplished. You don't get good kids like Morgan and Kyle unless you, yourself, are a good person. This is another thing I know for sure. Nellie was a good person. A good, good person.

I'm sure many in this room have been touched by Nellie's generosity. If I asked you all to stand up and tell me about them we would be here for a very long time. She was someone who minimized her good deeds. She wanted no recognition for any kind gesture, large or small. That's not why she did it. She did it out of pure love. She gave of herself to others with absolutely no expectations. I ask that you think about that today and in the days, months and years to come. Think of how she touched you and did for you with no expectation and try to pay that forward. I think she would be truly honored by that.

Another thing I know is that Nellie was like a sister to some of us here today. Not blood sisters, but rather sisters by choice. She was an "I have your back" sister, "through thick and thin" sister, "we stick together no matter what" sister. Like her real sisters, we had outings too. We shopped for stones and crystals and for antiques that needed new life. We called in the Four Directions together, watched Practical Magic, and made spell books. We glued endless stones on dance costumes and passed a bottle at dance competitions. We spent a weekend in a yurt, ate a lot of ice cream, and sat around the fire. We took road trips where we pretended we were Thelma and Louise. When in serious conversation she would sit back and listen. Taking it all in. She was never one to quickly blurt out her thoughts. Yet when we turned to her she would raise her finger and say "You know what I think?" and then would proceed to give the most sage advice. She taught us: how to light a fire (and poke it all night long); that people, not stuff, was most important; that everything happens for a reason; that the lesson will be repeated until it is learned ;and that actions speak louder than words. She often signed off her texts with "I love you my friend." As long as her other sisters carry on she will always be welcome in Circle and have an open invitation for midnight margaritas.

The final thing I will leave you with that I know for sure is that Nellie was a spiritual person. She believed that when a person passes from this physical life they continue to live on. She often said after Margaret passed, "She's here. She's just different." Throughout the past week I have felt I can almost hear her voice high pitched, almost yelling, but not quite, in that Nellie voice with her hands up in the air saying, "Jennifer I'm here, you just can't see me!" So look for her because she will be there. It may be by putting a magnet at your feet to remind you to pay the oil bill, rerouting a text message to come in at 2am, bumping your head on wind chimes, putting your missing credit card on your bed, or in song lyrics at cycling. Look for her. She is there. She is just different.